So legendarily verbose Ink blogger Momar Van Der Camp, who as we’ve noted tends to use the word “gonzo” in a downright Smurfian manner, is back with two more installments in his ongoing (and seemingly neverending) blog series, “Fear and Loathing in Overland Park.” I’ll admit that I thought Part 68 was not our gonzo’s best gonzo work (he compared the presidential election to Student Council, or something gonzo like that), but Momar Van Der Camp did not disappoint with Part 69. Read on for Gonzopalooza.
It seems that Momar Van Der Camp does not appreciate the moguls in “Hollyweird” who are making endless sequels to his favorite films:
The almighty dollar strikes again. Anywhere they can bilk fans of these comics and movies out of more of their hard-earned cash just for the sake of 2 hours of some entertainment, they are going to do that. They are going to screw you over, put you over the barrel, and just take you to town.
Ah, so true. And as we know, Momar Van Der Camp is no fan of capitalism, which is so totally un-gonzo. To combat the oncoming sequel menace, Momar Van Der Camp suggests some possible sequels you may not have thought of! Ha ha, get it? It’s funny because he’s perpetuating the analogy of sequels being useless! His suggestions:
Tommy Boy 2: “Have you ever wondered what happened after Tommy Callahan took over the company? Have you ever wondered what became of his best pal Richard and his evil brother-in-law? No? Well too bad. Because the world needs to know. I mean, judging by how much of a moron Tommy was in the first movie, you’d think the company would have literally burned to the ground. And that’s how the sequel can open.”
The Hudsucker Proxy 2: “All about the Slinky! The creator of the Slinky hangs himself with the Slinky, thereby surpassing his predecessor, the inventor of the Hula-hoop, because no angel saves him. He just hangs there, dying.”
Get Rich or Die Tryin’ 2: Died Tryin’: “He dies tryin to get rich. Wins best picture and gets 50 Cent noticed as a real actor.”
Fight Club 2: Fight Clubbier: “More Fight Club. More fighting. More man-on-man stuff. More anarchy. More money.”
And Momar Van Der Camp saves his best zinger for last:
Thirteen Ghosts 2: Fourteen Ghosts: “There’s actually a fourteenth ghost in the house. And it’s Shannon Elizabeth’s career.”
Hey-oh! There’s that famous gonzo wit we’ve come to know and love! Keep up the usual great work, Momar Van Der Camp. We stand in gonzo solidarity with you.
