“And I looked, and beheld a pale campaign bus: and his name that sat in it was Obama, and Hell followed with him.”

HAHAHA! Soon, I will tax...YOUR SOUL!!

We’ve pretty much avoided writing about the nonsense claims oozing across the Internet that Barack Obama is some sort of Taliban-controlled Manchurian Candidate, because, well, we’re more focused on Snoping the noxious fumes emanating from Jack Cashill. But now there’s a new development: Since the mere demonizing of an entire faith isn’t having its desired effect, the new tactic is to paint Obama as…the AntiChrist!

Among those evangelists spreading the word about Satan 2.0 is one Mary Hargett, a commercial appraiser for Finney County, Kan. Alas, Ms. Hargett used her official Garden City employee e-mail account to forward the debunked message, resulting in disciplinary action. From KSHB:

When contacted by NBC Action News Monday, Hargett said she didn’t recall writing the e-mail, but acknowledged it sounded familiar.

“Isn’t everyone bashing,” Hargett said. “So, what’s the problem?”

Hargett hung up the phone before answering additional questions.

Mary, Mary, Mary…you passed up a great opportunity to spread your false gospel! I mean, think about it: would St. Paul (or The Apostle Formerly Known As Saul) have turned down an interview with the Damascus Free Press to talk about being blinded by the light?  

To be honest, this is the first time we’ve actually read the message in question – and taking a look at it, there seem to be some leaps of logic straight from the J. Cashill Institute of Tenuous Reasoning, L.L.C..

To begin the thesis that Senator Beelzebub is out to destroy the universe, the e-mail’s author lists off a number of historical incidents in which Muslims were involved in plotting or carrying out terrorist activities. The scribe even goes as far as to remind us:

These events are actual events from history.

They really happened!!!

Yeah, ACTUAL events! Not like that fake moon landing! What up NOW, naysayers?!? Do you still say, “Nay?”

Yes, yes, yes, these events did occur — but of course, for every crime perpetuated in the name of Islam, we can find an equivalent in the Christian world. Some may not be as blatant, but they are no less wicked. God (and/or religion) are far too often used as scapegoats for everything from suicide bombings to why it rains on a day you had picnic plans.

That greatest hits list of atrocities leads us to the next piece of evidence:

According to The Book of Revelation:

Oh, good. Because that lead-in always provides a firm foundation for an argument.

The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40’s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, he will destroy everything.

And Now:

For the award winning Act of Stupidity Of all times the People of America want to elect, to the most Powerful position on the face of the Planet — The Presidency of the United states of America … A Male of Muslim descent who is the most extremely liberal Senator in Congress (in other words an extremist) and is 40’s. His supporters, here and abroad, are calling him THE MESSIAH! Have the American People completely lost their Minds, or just their Power of Reason ???

Where to begin? First of all, the Overuse of Capitalization is rather Annoying, much like Someone is trying to give more Importance to their Flawed Logic by making Words seem More Powerful. Secondly, I love how conservatives paint anyone with politics anywhere left of center as an “extremist,” yet those folks leaning so far right they’re laying on their sides seem to think they’re the models of reason. Thirdly, no one aside from Obama’s critics are calling him the Messiah. Apparently, any charismatic politician with a message that resonates with a large group of the American public (cough-REAGAN!-cough) is nothing more than a false prophet. Just because the current political climate favors views other than your own doesn’t mean the Apocalypse is at hand.

At the end of the piece, just when you think you’ve scaled Mount Crazy to its uppermost peak, this little doozy gets thrown in as a closing statement:

As the writer of the award winning story ‘Forest [sic] Gump’ so aptly put it, ‘Stupid Is As Stupid Does’

Whoa. Way to go thermonuclear with that statement. Indeed, no debate tactic is as powerful as the deliberative one-two punch of citing the Book Revelation followed by a quote from ”award-winning story ‘Forest [sic] Gump.’” Clearly, the author of this scorching piece of journalism is without peer.