A Very Special 30 Days of Jay: Sharing Our Story

As you may recall, the ever-dwindling campaign of Kenny Hulshof, seeking desperately to avoid a McCainesque downward spiral, is maintaining a web site called 30 Days of Jay, in which average Missourians can share their tales of The Demon That Is Jay Nixon. They’ve all been pretty mundane (save for, um, one guy who was none too pleased with our gentle teasing). Well, today we bring you our entry. Yeah, it should be easy for Kenny’s campaign to debunk this (all they have to do is type in the URL), but who knows? Let’s have some fun here in the last week of campaign season. Text is after the jump.

I used to have trust in Jay Nixon. But now he has let me down, and he has let the voters of Missouri down.

I refer of course to a terrible scourge sweeping our beloved state: the pronunciation of our state’s name as “Missour-ee” instead of the proper “Missour-ah.” Look, we real Missourians know there’s only one way to pronounce the name of our state: the REAL way, the AMERICAN way. When Jay Nixon comes parading into Jefferson City with his highfalutin law degree and his city-fied verbal mannerisms, he reveals himself as someone you can’t trust. Sure, first it’s pronouncing it “Missouri-ee,” but what’s next? Tax hikes? Free health care for illegal gay couples? WE HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE.

I’m looking for someone who thinks like me, talks like me, and understands my problems. After all, don’t we want the Average Joe in charge? Why put emphasis on “education” when we can put Joe Six Pack in charge of various capitals? And I’ve got news for Mr. Lawyer Fancypants Jay Nixon: the Joe Six Packs of Missouri, the Tom Pendergasts of Missouri, say “Missour-ah.”

I hope you take this seriously, Missouri. Today it’s saying a word wrong. Tomorrow it’s socialism.

We’ll keep you posted on any and all replies from the campaign.