Sigh. Well, in their ongoing quest to spend exactly zero time addressing Kansas City’s problems and exactly all their time providing comedy material for the mainstream media, Mayor Mark Funkhouser and Supervolunteer Gloria Squitiro have taken their media blitz to new heights. First it was that article in the Journal. Then it was the Good Morning America interview. Today it was an interview on Fox News, where Gloria made the odd claim that those of us in the Midwest weren’t used to powerful women and mumbled some things about Hillary and Michelle. (But at least no Malcolm X comparisons this time, huh?) So while this story has the national media heaving with LOLs, it has those of us in Kansas City asking just one thing: when in god’s name will this stop?
We haven’t been the closest followers of this story — we leave that to our friend Tony, who must be in blog heaven right now — but even we are getting incredibly sick of this. We’re just learning too much about the first couple:
For example, Squitiro was asked whether she put her hand on her husband’s groin during an interview and photo session with The Star in their home. Squitiro said she was only fooling around and put her hand in front of Funkhouser but nowhere near his groin.
Or there’s this gem:
But Funkhouser also said that if everyone acted “according to the latest diversity training video, the workplace would be a cold, sterile place. You know, a certain amount of warmth and blood and life has to happen and you have to have a trusting atmosphere in which to do that.”
Yeah, those pesky workplace rules and regulations! What are those people after, anyway? A cold, sterile workplace where… people are… free from harassment and racist terms? Sheesh, who would want that?
So please, co-mayors: let’s end this sideshow. We know how you feel. We know you’re devoted to each other, and that’s great. The world could probably use more marital devotion like yours. But enough with the interviews. Enough with the pseudo-folksy and wholly illogical arguments. And holy shit, enough with the religious overtones. You were not chosen by the man upstairs. You were not selected for a holy quest. You were elected (one of you, anyway) to serve as an efficient and just leader of a city with real problems. Start acting like it.
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