Be warned, citizens of nearby Leavenworth. (Hey, like a certain disgraced quarterback!) There is a charlatan walking among you claiming to be a representative of the needlessly-militant-sounding Salvation Army. He carries an object resembling a red kettle, just like those pesky friendly folks standing at the entrance of your local grocery store, and he asks you for cash donations. He also brings with him a young child, no doubt to boost his sympathy factor as he makes a shameless plea for your money. But this man is no deputized member of the Christian Mercenaries — he is a rogue agent operating of his own volition. And how can you tell? Why, because he’s ugly, of course.
Or so we are to believe, based on the description of one of his attempted scamees:
A Leavenworth woman called the Salvation Army to ask whether a man who showed up at her door asking for a donation to the charity was really working for them.
“Well, he wasn’t good looking. That’s all I can say,” said the victim, who asked only to be called Mrs. Browning. “He’s not good looking if he’s out stealing from people.”
Wow. Harsh, ma’am. Very harsh. But perhaps we ought to forgive her, since she was obviously tremendously affected by the incident:
She said she was suspicious, then sleepless as she thought about it and the state of the nation. “The country’s in bad shape. Maybe they are doing that. And I said, ‘I’m calling in the morning,’” Browning said.
Man! Losing sleep over it! Now that’s the kind of skepticism that makes the holiday season truly special. Kudos to this gentlewoman, who saw through this mountebank’s hoax.
