Hey, remember when Catholicism used to stand for something? We do — two of us went to Catholic schools. We learned about our mission to help those less fortunate, to work for social justice, and to be kind to others. Well, things must have really changed since our time in those schools, because apparently all they teach now is Professional Outrage 101 — learn how to wait for questionable public events, then pounce in a storm of false, manufactured outrage! The latest example (via John over at Bottom Line) comes in the form of a sports column from notorious oversharer Jason Whitlock, who makes two jokes — both of them simply dreadful; is there a rule that sportswriters are not allowed to be funny? — that appear to come at the expense of Catholic dogma. Bored yet? You will be when you see the fake outrage of near-Sharptonian magnitude.
Here are the “jokes” in question:
There’s a theory in football that the key to playing defense begins and ends with stopping the run. Pretty much no one questions the premise. It’s sort of like questioning Mary’s virginity. You mention the rumors you heard about her and Joseph at Noah’s Party Cove bash, and you’re likely to be escorted out of church by force…
The Chiefs might need a savior after this season. Let’s hope Noah throws another party and Mary and Joseph disappear for a few minutes again.
Oh, sweet lord. Comedy weeps upon reading these monstrosities. So here is what a local Catholic had to say to John:
“We know that Whitlock will do and write anything to generate controversy,” says a source, “but to go out of your way to insult and belittle Catholics on a Holy Day crosses the line even for him. It is an absolute disgrace that he would be able to get away with this. Did the Star fire all its editors?”…
“I absolutely could not believe what I was reading,” noted a Catholic. “It was hurtful and had no place in a sports column.”
Well.
First of all, he’s not going out of his way to insult and belittle Catholics. He’s going out of his way to construct a very clumsy and dreadfully unfunny analogy. Second, let’s lighten up. The idea that your faith is off-limits to mockery is absurd. How seriously do we take your claim that a talking snake tricked a woman into eating an apple? Or that we actually consume the body of our savior during communion? Give us a break.
Third, have you nothing better to do? Why is it that religious groups seem to live for these moments — lying in wait for someone to make even the slightest off-color joke, then ambushing them with accusations of insensitivity to faith? Perhaps instead of seething with indignation over a perceived slight to your patently ridiculous belief system, you should be out furthering the message of your founder.
Relax, area believers. The world isn’t out to get you. All too often, it’s the other way around.
No, J. Whit’s analogy is not funny or cleaver. And being a practicing Catholic, I did not find it hateful either. The only thing I can conclude from his “column” is he was recently forced to watch ‘Evan Almighty’. This might explain where the horrible analogy is coming from. Just guessing…
Oops, obviously I meant clever, not cleaver.
He shouldn’t be disciplined, then — watching “Evan Almighty” is punishment enough.
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