Remember yesterday when we wondered what “innocent remark” had gotten Mission Valley Middle School teacher Ryan Haraughty fired? Well, some diligent listening reporting by the Star has cracked the case. Turns out it wasn’t completely innocent — unless you consider jokes about engorged, phallic U.S. states to be innocent. But that didn’t stop Bob Hope’s students from picketing. Ah, to be young again.
The scene in question, as recounted by Haraughty himself, is as follows:
Ryan Haraughty, a science teacher, said he was fired Monday by the Shawnee Mission Board of Education for a sexual innuendo uttered during a class.
Haraughty had drawn a picture of the United States and one of his students noticed that Florida was out of proportion. The student asked Haraughty about the error.
The teacher’s offhand response, which he said Monday he regretted, was: “Florida got excited.”
Hey-o! Looks like someone’s hoping to land a spot onstage at the Improv this weekend. The problem, obviously, is that the Teacher/Comedian saw fit to make an erection joke — or was it a geography joke? — to a roomful of 8th graders. Granted, these kids are 14 years old and are probably more familiar with the concept than parents are willing to admit. But impugning the poor, bankrupt state of Florida as little more than a swollen organ of the southeastern U.S.? Well, that’s another matter entirely.
All told, does the remark merit termination? It’s easy for those of us in the armchair commentary business to contend that one remark does not a serial offender make. But we can also see how a parent with a child in the class might feel differently. So perhaps there’s a more fitting punishment? Perhaps Professor Haha should be forced to take his shtick over to Stanford & Sons, where he must duly recite genital puns for one hour while being relentlessly heckled. Can’t you see it now?
“Hey, I’m Ryan Haraughty. I teach 8th grade. Lemme tell you, my kids are completely nuts!”
[...]
“Uh… anyway, what club do you have to be a member of to make people laugh around here, eh?”
[...]
“Knock on wood, I’ll try long and hard.”
[throws tomatoes]
It’s only fair, parents.
UPDATE: The school district has issued a statement about the firing, and it seems things are not what they appear. The key text:
“Mr. Haraughty has communicated to students, parents and the media that the decision to terminate him was based on one specific incident. The termination of Mr. Haraughty’s contract was not based on one incident. The decision was based on numerous incidents over an extended period of time. Mr. Haraughty has failed to communicate this in his statements to parents, students, and the media. We are sorry that we can’t get more specific regarding the incidents but the school district wants to be clear that what has been communicated by Mr. Haraughty is not a true representation of his situation.
Interesting.
YOU
SUCK!!!!!!!
Mr. Haraughty is more intelligent than about 99% of the people that write these kinds of articles. He is the best teacher in the whole damn state, and he deserves better. The response was not in that manner. I should know, because I happen to know the student who asked the question, and I was in the room when it happened. I’ve been at every single picket, and if any other student knew about this website (which they don’t, because they don’t give a shit about you), they’d back me up times 100. And it is a personal conflict, everyone at the school, students and teachers, they both know it. So shut the fuck up unless you actually know what you’re talking about.
Cheers!
8th graders are so adorable.
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