Olathean Charged With Transparent Lying, Prostitution

Remember when you were a kid, and you were convinced that if you told a lie hard enough and stuck with it determinedly enough, people would just believe you? Such is the case today for one woman in Olathe (!) — that hotbed of neo-evangelism — who was busted by police for engaging in the [...]

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Mom2Mom Stages Dramatic Scene Of Outrage Brinkmanship

Everyone is upset about the Bates City molestation/rape/disgusting-ness case. Who wouldn’t be? But there’s outrage… and then there’s outrage. The italicized kind can only be found over on Mom2Mom, the Star’s online haven for bored housewives defenders of justice. Where else can you find a statement like this: I get my only peace knowing there’s [...]

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Kansas City’s Most Awesomely Mustachioed Attorney Will Handle All Your Traffic Ticket, Train Robbery Insurance Needs

Friend of the blog A.D. recently came across a bit of a gem in his weekly coupon mailer. Meet George Taft, local barrister and, judging by that sweater on his lip, fin de siècle robber baron. What opposing attorney would want to go up against a guy who looks like he just opened a saloon [...]

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Latest Sex Criminals Look Exactly Like You’d Expect Them To

There’s a certain look to sex offenders, isn’t there? Usually a beard is involved, and of course a slightly crazy wild-eyed glare, and perhaps an air best summarized as “Hey, isn’t that the creepy guy who had like a million ladders in his garage?” Today’s bust is no different. Beards/wild looks ahoy.

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Olathe Leads Metro Area In Forgiving And Forgetting

If you’re going to commit a minor infraction against the law, may we suggest you do so in that most pious of suburbs? Because hey, misdemeanors in Olathe are almost meaningless — if you wait long enough, they’ll just give you the ol’ “Hey man, it’s cool. You’re probably sorry.”

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Kansas City Takes Page From ‘Matrix,’ Will Use Amazing Bullet Time Technology To Stop Would-be Agent Smiths

You know Kansas City has a slight crime problem, right? And the problem with high-crime cities is that we all too often don’t know exactly where shots are fired. Sure, you can narrow it down to a two- or three-block radius, but what then? Knock on doors? Do some sleuthing? No, no. Those are the [...]

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Lokeman Will Drink, Drive Star’s Troubles Away

Pity the public figure. Those of us cloistered in anonymity can remain safely in oblivion, sheltered from the storm of bad publicity and unwanted attention. Sadly, the same cannot be said for those who willingly put themselves out there as newspaper columnists. And then as wives of newspaper publishers. And then as drunken drivers. Sigh. [...]

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Koster To Punish Office Depot With Boyish Good Looks

Newly minted crusader for hypocrisy justice Chris Koster (he of the questionable ethics, you’ll recall?) is a Staples man, it would seem. How else to explain the determination with which he begins his battle against hated rival Office Depot? The cigar-chomping AG has decided to inquire as to the exact method of Office Depot’s cushy [...]

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Kansas May Finally Admit Stupidity of Near Beer

When I first moved to Kansas for graduate school, I stopped by the local grocery store for some crucial supplies. This included a 12-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon (because of poverty, not hipsterdom). When I reached the checkout line, the teenaged clerk raised his eyebrows. “You sure you want this?” he said. “Yes,” I replied [...]

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Cashill Launches Impassioned Defense Of Kline, Coyly Announces Creation Of Amazing New Wingnut Documentary

Well, it seems that local smug man and noted non-intellectual Jack Cashill has finally heeded our advice. Last week we kindly suggested to Jack that he move on from his singular obsession with President (ha!) Obama’s authorship of certain memoirs. (For those who need a quick refresher: Jack believes that “unrepentant terrorist” William Ayers actually [...]

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