Kay Barnes Will Laugh as Your Lungs Fill With Water

Well, we’ve already seen that Big City Mayor Kay Barnes will bring the swirling, tornadic winds of liberalism to Congress. Now the kind folks over at the NRCC — how do they sleep at night, incidentally? — have more proof that a Barnes victory will result in continued plagues of near-Biblical proportions:
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Bold Proclamations Devoid of Consequence: Sam Graves v. Kay Barnes

Ed. note: In the days leading up to Election Day, we’ll be making endorsements in several local races. We realize that these endorsements, like those of virtually any publication, are completely meaningless and probably worthless. But what the hell? We’re doing it anyway.
The race for Missouri’s sixth district seems to have attracted the bulk of [...]

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Plague of Vicious Storms Will Accompany Barnes Victory

Or so we are to believe, anyway, based on this somewhat awesome NRCC ad. Kay Barnes, when will you stop smothering 6th district voters with your terrible storms? And, um, why are you at the center of them?

Excellent. We love that her mouth is agape the entire time, as if she’s [...]

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Kay Barnes Strikes Back Against Air Graves

So we told you before about Sam Graves and his veritable squadron of personal aircraft — and the little tax problem he seems to have with them. Well, Kay Barnes is looking to neutralize the power of the Flying Graves Brigade with this new ad:

While the accuracy seems a bit stretched [...]

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Hey, Sam Graves and Kay Barnes debated today in “the Northland.” (That’s such a dramatic name; it makes it sound like they dueled or something.) Looks like it was pretty straightforward: Kay blamed him for the economic crisis, and Sam blamed her for supporting circa 1978 footage of coastal gay pride parties. No word yet [...]

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Candidate Mystified by Green Mowing Horse as Daughter Adorably Shills

Ah, Sam Graves. You’ve brought the SOTL staff so much joy with your ridiculous ads. First there was your blatant display of piety. Then there was that little episode with the homophobia. And of course the weird Champagne party. But now you’ve taken the awkwardness to a new level: you’ve incorporated your daughter into your [...]

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Kay Barnes’ Speeding Limo Has No Time For Picketing Voters

Here’s yet another strange ad from our pal Sam Graves (who, by the way, always seems to be strolling in his fields at the end of his ads — is farming really that easy?). In this one, we see “Big City Mayor” Kay Barnes, or at least a representation of such, waving Antoinetteishly from her [...]

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Kay Barnes Will Release These Hostages in Exchange For Votes

We’re supporters of Kay Barnes around here, despite the fact that exactly zero of us live in the Sixth District; our motivation stems mostly from our desire to see SmallBusinessmanFarmer Sam Graves ousted. But we have to ask, Kay: what the hell’s going on with this pseudo-ransom video?

Note in particular the [...]

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So your editor picked up the new issue of Esquire yesterday to check out its nationwide endorsement article. And their blurb about the Barnes/Graves race accurately captures the Potemkin Village that is the latter’s campaign: “Laziness is Graves’s defining characteristic. Lazily, he rubber-stamps White House policies. Lazily, he repeats lazy Republican mantras. Lazily, he supports [...]

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Ah, delightful irony: the related post under “Graves Criticizes Barnes Over Sprint Center” is none other than “Sprint Center Exceeds First-Year Goals.” Sorry, SmallBusinessmanFarmer.

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