News you can’t live without, courtesy of the Star: “Talking pit bull says, ‘I love you.’“
But of course, he doesn’t really mean it, and won’t call the day after like he promised to.

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Treasury Secretary Dismayed To Discover “Jazz Hands” Manuever Fails To Deliver Desired Financial Market Reaction

These aren’t the banking droids you’re looking for…

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Kansans: UFOs? Sure. Evolution? Not So Much.

We come for your sunflowers, Earthlings! “Wichita UFO report draws wide attention“
The man who captured the image said he took the photo at 8:42 a.m. Friday near 210th and Prairie Creek Road, about three miles south of Rose Hill.
He described what he saw: “The object came out of the clouds really fast. It sounded kind [...]

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Best. Special-ops. Code name. Ever.

Seriously, how were law enforcement officials able to keep a straight face while conducting this investigation?  ”Operation Super Chicken Ends Cocaine, Money Laundering“
Operation Super Chicken puts Kansas City restaurant owners, and others involved in a $2.3 million dollar cocaine, and money laundering scheme behind bars.
Juan Delgado, his wife Sylvia Delgado and other owners of the Super Pollo, [...]

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Must…resist…making easy “sellout” jokes… “David Cook is a 6-minute sellout here“
Does that mean he only has nine minutes left on the fabricated pop phenomenon clock?

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Lawmaker Proposes Reducing Kansas Counties to “Johnson County” and “Not Johnson County”

A proposed merger of a different sort: “Lawmaker Suggests Fewer Counties In Kansas“
A state lawmaker is calling for a feasibility study of drastically reducing the number of counties in Kansas for greater efficiency.
 
Democratic Sen. Chris Steineger, of Kansas City, has introduced a bill that would create a 12-member county consolidation commission made up of people [...]

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Mad “mminnoe” Waaaaay Beyond Thunderdome

SOTL Poet Laureate “mminnoe,” Philosopher-King of the Examiner.net Blogdom, once again looks to popular entertainment to solve our nation’s various quandaries. Readers may recall that in his previous treatise, which has come to be known as the “Kenworth Doctrine,”  mminnoe suggested that the TV show ”24″ can help the U.S. devise a viable 21st-Century geopolitical strategy (and also shared [...]

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Todd Haley Will Make You Weep By Penetrating Your Very Soul With His Intenso-Vision

An apt headline to match the photo…

Beginning with facial expressions.

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Chiefs Continue Tradition of Hiring Hollywood Talent, Sign “Borat” As New Head Coach

First the Chiefs chose Kevin James lookalike Scott Pioli as GM; today, they’ve announced the selection of Sacha Baron Cohen as head coach. Is the organization filling some sort of celebrity doppelgänger quota requirement related to some obscure EEOC guideline?
Behold:

  
 
  UPDATE: We are not the only bloggers taking note of Todd Haley’s celeb-ish countenance — Nick Sloan notes that the coach also bears a [...]

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This has absolutely zero impact on local politics, but rates a 10 for awesomeness: “Val Kilmer ponders running for N.M. governor.” Apparently being the voice of KITT in the lame “Knight Rider” update isn’t as fulfilling as he’d hoped.
Pros:

Military service (“Top Gun”)
Tough on crime (“Batman Forever”)
Despite liberal activism, appeals to evangelicals (voice of Moses in [...]

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