Meet Ryan Haraughty, the Mission Valley Middle School teacher at the center of the Florida-centric donnybrook which seems to be consuming the Kansas City media. The picture comes from his Facebook profile, which — for the moment, at least — is a public listing on the KCMO network. This is the final respite you shall receive in this whole affair, because it’s about to get crazy.

Okay, so Haraughty was fired today. However — and this is a matter of some dispute — he may or may not have had a dispute with the principal of MVMS. The district’s official statement is that such a contention is false, but students seem to disagree. Here is an online petition calling for a no-confidence vote in the board. So far it has a meager 110 signatures (as of 12:22 a.m. Thursday), but it’s still worth noting.

Even more importantly, here are two Facebook pages in support of the deposed biology overlord. The first is a fake person named “BringBack TheHaraughty” — those clever kids! — and it looks like it’s closed to the public. The second and more impressive one is entitled “Ryan Haraughty Appreciation Society of America,” and it contains some comment gems. Among them, all sic:

Ryan Haraughty = The biggest badass this world has ever seen.

hey mr haraughty, remeber when you had me explain to the class when its okay to masturbate?!
good times

Just so you know mr. haraughty, i don’t appreciate that little note you wrote in my year book. I thought you knew me better than that…

Mr. Haraughty’s the shit

OK EVERYONE LISTEN UP!!! IF WE WANT MR. HARAUGHTY BACK WE HAVE TO GET OUR PARENTS TO WRITE LETTERS TO OSTMEYER AND THE DISTRICT!!

Goodness Gracious no! Someone is acknowledging sexuality to teenagers? Quick, someone must be fired!

(From “Paul Gorelick,” a self-described parent):

It needs to be said again and again and again, even if I start to become annoying. To all of you reading this, SPEAK OUT. Let your voices be heard! Let the board know. Let the adminsitration know. Let the district know. Let everyone know….

Students, a simple symbol, a white piece of paper with an H on it pinned to clothes. A quiet effective statement.

Oh, and for a fun added bonus: there’s a Twitter page dedicated (kind of) to resolving the situation.

Among the comments on the online petition (read the list of signers here):

POOP ON OSTMEYERS HEAD

Go ahead! I love you and hate the principle! Good job!

This principal needs to learn how to do her job. Her efforts on talking with my brother, who is an excellent teacher, were paltry. Her job is to work with the teachers not attack them.

The vendetta again Mr. H continues from Ms Ostmeyer. I am gravely disappointed in how the SM Board dismissed any emails/comments/petitions presented to them.

Yes, that second-to-last one is actually from one “Brandon John Haraughty,” brother of the teacher in question.

So what do we really know about Mr. Haraughty, aside from a) he was popular with students, and b) he made a regrettable remark in class? Well, here’s his official (and rather busy) SMSD page, which includes these pictures:

So he likes fish. And flowers, I guess. His Facebook page includes:

Favorite quotation: “You Spell It H-A-R NAUGHTY without the n”

Indeed. And his “About Me” section? “I am the coolest.”

We’ll see how this plays out. We admire the students’ dedication to their teacher, though there’s no denying the remark in question was not the wisest one. And what to make of the district’s statement that this was just the latest in a long line of such incidents? Who knows?

Public education: it never gets old.

Looking for something to do Monday night? Let me rephrase: looking for something awesome to do Monday night? Pack up your memories of Grandma’s comfort food and head over to the Kansas City Casserole Party. You won’t regret it — though your waistline might.

SOTL’s own Emily Farris is bringing her renowned casserole-palooza from the mean streets of New York to the slightly less mean streets of KC. More information, including registration instructions, can be found here. Don’t miss the chance to hobnob with the established casserole expert.

That wraps up day three of our reconvened online adventure. It’s been fun so far. Doesn’t it seem like it’s been the longest time since we were part of your life?

So you know how the Star has that “Reader Advisory Panel” that serves as a kind of watchdog/tribune/voice of dissent for the paper? Well, Danette Gamble would like to use her role in that capacity to discuss the Fort Hood shooter. But hey, before you go accusing her of hating Islam, just remember that she’s only questioning it. Yeah, except she totally hates Islam.

Gamble has rolled the dice (ha!) by choosing this provocative headline: “By the very definition, Hasan is a terrorist.” Further, she commits the cardinal sin of writing by opening her essay with a dictionary definition.

ter-ror-ist [ter-er-ist] noun: 1) a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism; 2) a person who terrorizes or frightens others.

Veterans’ Day brings on a whole new meaning today in the aftermath of last week’s terrorist’s attack at Fort Hood, Texas.

Yes, I called Hasan a terrorist.

Yeah! Take that, Guy Who Everyone Hates Already! Danette Gamble is calling you a terrorist! And how does she know that you fit all the criteria, like being a member of a group? Well, she must have cold hard evide — wait, what?

I do believe Hasan was linked to a group. I do believe those soldiers he was shooting at were frightened, to say the least. So, by definition, Hasan is a terrorist.

Oh, so you… believe it. And that makes it a fact, I guess. Hey, Danette — I believe my bank account balance should not be so precipitously low. I believe it should be $100,000. I believe it.
[ checks balance]
Damn! But I believed it!

I have to ask the question though: With all the red flags popping up around Hasan, why did our military not kick him out? Were they afraid that booting this guy would cause a discrimination lawsuit? Have we become so politically correct that we are putting our nation at risk?

Apparently Miss Gamble lacks the basic research skills required to Google this subject. Not only did Hasan earn mostly positive performance reviews, but our military has a serious shortage of people trained to handle the stress of returning soldiers. Now, the best part:

I’m not an Islamophobe, either; however, it is an odd coincidence that last week a Muslim wounded and killed his fellow soldiers and last night, another Muslim, John Allen Muhammad was executed for murdering 10 people in Washington, DC in 2002.

It makes one wonder what they’re teaching in Islam today. It doesn’t make me want to kill Muslims. It doesn’t make me hate Muslims. It just makes me wonder.

Get that? It just makes me wonder. The classic logic bait and switch. Hey, I’m not saying x! I just wonder about x! See, now you can’t get mad at me.

And yes, just what are they teaching in Islam today? Surely it can’t be the peace and harmony they’re teaching in Christianity. I mean, the Bible is full of nothing but love and peace and — oh, damn.

Isaiah 13:16 Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives ravished.

Deuteronomy 13:15 Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.

Exodus 32:27 And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour.

Et cetera, of course. The problem here is not Miss Gamble’s specious reasoning; it’s the sly way she tries to mask blatant Islamophobia in the cloak of innocent “wondering.” Good thing the commenters will call her on this, right?

Good post, Danette

Submitted by twas_was on November 11, 2009 – 2:15pm.

Let’s call it what it is. Screw PC! PC probably got 13 people killed that didn’t have to die. PC is what folks like the Star preach, sitting in their offices hammering on their keyboards, while other folks are risking their lives.
.
I gotta believe if we had radical Jews in this country killing in the name of their religion that other Jews would root them out, and root out the folks teaching the hate. But the “good Muslims” just sit back and watch and talk about their religion being a “peaceful religion”. If it’s so damn “peaceful”, why are they hellbent on killing us?

Ain’t jingoism grand?

Hilarious local Jason Sudeikis will turn on the Plaza Lights this year. But will he let us in for FutureSpace?

Remember yesterday when we wondered what “innocent remark” had gotten Mission Valley Middle School teacher Ryan Haraughty fired? Well, some diligent listening reporting by the Star has cracked the case. Turns out it wasn’t completely innocent — unless you consider jokes about engorged, phallic U.S. states to be innocent. But that didn’t stop Bob Hope’s students from picketing. Ah, to be young again.

The scene in question, as recounted by Haraughty himself, is as follows:

Ryan Haraughty, a science teacher, said he was fired Monday by the Shawnee Mission Board of Education for a sexual innuendo uttered during a class.

Haraughty had drawn a picture of the United States and one of his students noticed that Florida was out of proportion. The student asked Haraughty about the error.

The teacher’s offhand response, which he said Monday he regretted, was: “Florida got excited.”

Hey-o! Looks like someone’s hoping to land a spot onstage at the Improv this weekend. The problem, obviously, is that the Teacher/Comedian saw fit to make an erection joke — or was it a geography joke? — to a roomful of 8th graders. Granted, these kids are 14 years old and are probably more familiar with the concept than parents are willing to admit. But impugning the poor, bankrupt state of Florida as little more than a swollen organ of the southeastern U.S.? Well, that’s another matter entirely.

All told, does the remark merit termination? It’s easy for those of us in the armchair commentary business to contend that one remark does not a serial offender make. But we can also see how a parent with a child in the class might feel differently. So perhaps there’s a more fitting punishment? Perhaps Professor Haha should be forced to take his shtick over to Stanford & Sons, where he must duly recite genital puns for one hour while being relentlessly heckled. Can’t you see it now?

“Hey, I’m Ryan Haraughty. I teach 8th grade. Lemme tell you, my kids are completely nuts!”
[...]
“Uh… anyway, what club do you have to be a member of to make people laugh around here, eh?”
[...]
“Knock on wood, I’ll try long and hard.”
[throws tomatoes]

It’s only fair, parents.

UPDATE: The school district has issued a statement about the firing, and it seems things are not what they appear. The key text:

“Mr. Haraughty has communicated to students, parents and the media that the decision to terminate him was based on one specific incident. The termination of Mr. Haraughty’s contract was not based on one incident. The decision was based on numerous incidents over an extended period of time. Mr. Haraughty has failed to communicate this in his statements to parents, students, and the media. We are sorry that we can’t get more specific regarding the incidents but the school district wants to be clear that what has been communicated by Mr. Haraughty is not a true representation of his situation.

Interesting.

Far be it from us to criticize another’s blog — after all, we’re just now trying to regain our footing after a nine-month absence — but have you checked out KCPD Chief James Corwin’s blog? Oh, man. Cue the Debbie Downer noise.

I was really hoping the blog might be a fun affair, featuring community involvement and such (and to be fair, there is some of that), but the majority of the site consists of homicide identification, crime updates, and the like. Some samples of the heartening and cheery fare:

NOV. 12 UPDATE: The man who was killed has been identified as 35-year-old Ryan Goodman of Lee’s Summit, Mo. The other accident victim is 30-year-old Shane Wagener of Grain Valley, Mo. He is in serious but stable condition at a local hospital…

At about 10 p.m. Sunday, November 8, police were called to the 6600 block of South Benton in regard to a vehicle parked in the middle of the roadway. Upon arrival, officers located a Dodge minivan parked in the middle of the street and an unresponsive female in the driver seat. Further investigation revealed the woman to be deceased from an apparent gunshot wound…

In their first day of enforcement, police issued 122 tickets to motorists who failed to yield to pedestrians and 11 tickets for other traffic violations. These tickets were written in the Crossroads and Rivermarket areas and on Broadway between Linwood and Westport Road…

At about 4 p.m. yesterday, Nov. 4, police were called to 116th Street and Holiday Drive in regard to the sound of gunshots. Upon arrival, a shooting victim was located in the street with no signs of life. He was pronounced dead a short time later. The victim has been identified as 20-year-old Maurice West of Kansas City, Mo.

Sheesh. I might as well be reading A Widow For One Year. Next up for Chief Corwin? A blog wholly devoted to pictures of people kicking puppies.

I can only assume this man fled in embarrassment once he espied his hat reflected in a mirror.

We know Tony has already mentioned this, but if you get a chance to check out KMBC’s “Get Fit Team KMBC” project, you won’t be without laughter. It’s an adorable effort by the news staff to, I guess, drop a few pounds and be a little healthier. Or at least that’s what it’s supposed to be; it’s actually a chance for Bryan Busby to show off his Blair Witch skills.

The videos posted by Busby documenting his weight loss/healthier lifestyle efforts are of course admirable; we could all stand to be a little slimmer. But what we didn’t expect was the following:

An example of how to put everyone on the road at risk, by filming yourself while driving.

A vaguely sensual tour of Bryan’s refrigerator, complete with “mmms” and “ooohs.”

A visit with Bryan’s sweatshirt-clad doctor.

What’s the best part of these videos? Is it Bryan saying “I also had one oatmeal cookie. Okay, two. I bought all three”? Is it him noticing that he’s inadvertently filmed his fridge’s booze shelf? Hard to say. Keep up the great work, Get Fit Team KMBC.

Local high school Shawnee Mission Northwest — you likely know it as the one with the mini-Statue of Liberty in front — was all set to win the Kansas state gymnastics title. It had the highest score at the end of regular competition. Then, suddenly, it was in third. Why? The coach asked what the score was. No, seriously.

Okay, see if you can follow this. Because I mostly can’t.

Free State and Newton High left the 2009 state meet as co-state champions with 103.525 points apiece.

After leaving it all out on the mats for hours, Free State’s gymnasts sat quietly and reflected about what they could have done to improve their scores. At that point, they thought that rival Shawnee Mission Northwest (102.95) had won. But when the official announcement came, Northwest fell to third because of a late team deduction, and the public-address announcer divulged that the Firebirds had tied with Newton for the 2009 state championship.

And what is this mysterious “late team deduction”? The coach innocently inquired about the exact point tally, which in the byzantine rules of gymnastics is apparently an infraction. Yeah. Now it gets really confusing.

Cougars coach Jackie Cipollini inquired about her team’s scores on the balance beam after the 5-minute window in which coaches are allowed to do so from the time scores reach the judge’s table after a rotation. The penalty assessed by meet referee Suzie Godsil and stipulated in the National Federation of High School’s Gymnastics rule book is a team point.

Cipollini, however, contended that she gave verbal intent to inquire within the 5-minute window.

Nonetheless, the penalty stood and SM Northwest, which was weighing a formal protest to KSHSAA, was awarded third place.

Are you kidding me? Coaches can only inquire about the team’s score within a five-minute window? And now that error has cost the Northwest team the title? Geez.

As you can see, the title was split between Free State (in Lawrence, and surely the most awesomely named high school around) and Newton High — which, curiously enough, was hosting the championships. Hmm… Either way, gymnastics needs to streamline its rules. Hey, how about just displaying the scores? Avoids the whole thing, doesn’t it?

We appreciate the nice things and the nicely honest things people are saying about us.